Check The Box

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Check The Box

Our children are not black, nor are they white…they are both. They are not half of anything, but rather a whole – times two. They are living, breathing, laughing, and loving symbols of racial harmony. They are not confused, they are enlightened…and they will not be contained by one checked box to describe their racial identity.

There are many ignorant people in the world that would like to perpetuate the erroneous truth that our children are products of baby mamas and baby daddies, and white girls who search out the next big, black adventure in the local night club or professional sporting event…And maybe that’s a way to protect themselves from a truth they don’t want to face.

There are other misguided members of society who continually try to convince themselves, and those around them, that the interracial couples out there producing multiracial children and families, are really suffering from some kind of self-hatred, and that’s why they step outside the lines of “their own kind” to find what they’re missing…And maybe that’s yet another protection mechanism used to shield those people from that truth they don’t want to face.

Our blended and beautiful families encompass varying combinations of race, levels of education and socio-economic status, and to be honest…some really great love stories. Our children are gifts to more than just us, and are but the third or fourth wave in what will inevitably be an ocean of success stories taking over this world of ours.

They are future doctors, nurses, lawyers, teachers, police officers, business owners, entrepreneurs… and presidents. More importantly, they will become husbands and wives, mommies and daddies – families, and when that happens…there really won’t be enough of those little boxes on one page that will be able to racially identify anyone.


[original post]


  1. says

    Thank you for giving me a new way to talk about and respond to the "self-hatred" argument so many people use against those who find love outside of their race. This post really touched me–reminded me of some of the pain and filled me with with all of the hope that comes from having a multiracial family. I look forward to more, Donna!

  2. N. Angail says

    I hate that there are people who try to invalidate your love. I love that you don’t let them kill your spirit and joy!

  3. says

    You have a beautiful family! I can only believe they can be enhanced not hindered by their interracial nature! A picture tells a thousand words!

  4. says

    Well said! I agree our children are the future! Shouldn't it be time to worry about other things besides their skin color, race or ethnicity.  I guess that is why I started saying blackxican because i am always questioned. Even the census people when they wanted to know what my sons ethnicity/race was my husbandchecked other and almost put human(to be funny) but we decided on blackxican instead!

  5. says

    Donna, I love this post!  I really love hearing all these affirmations about your kids…and OUR kids!  That's so important!  I know our kids need to hear it and for sure, we parents could and should spend every moment telling them how amazing and truly wonderful they are!

  6. says

    Those boxes drive me nuts.  Although my kids are literally 1/2 African and 1/2 American they are not considered African American!  I'm going with other from now on!

  7. says

    Beautiful family, beautiful post, Donna. This notion of “self-hatred” for pursuing a relationship outside one’s own ethnic group makes NO sense to me. I can’t imagine giving our son “instructions” on who he can and can’t love. Love is love. Your children are blessed to have parents raising them free of restrictions.  

  8. Dania Santana says

    As a Caribbean woman, to me your family is the norm, not the exception. I realized that I started talking about race in that way after I moved here. Don't get me wrong, there are issues about race in my country, but its normal for most families to be blended and in different shades. No one its surprised if siblings are different colors, and have different colored eyes. Your family is beautiful and they are being raised to know exactly who they are. And that, I'm sure, will make a positive difference in this country in the long run.