Did you know that giving a child a ‘Time Out’ is actually considered a bad thing?
Yes, just as quickly as our children grow up so is the way of parenting techniques. Just a few years ago everyone was talking about ‘the naughty stool’. It was a trend, a skill to be perfected and executed immediately. We watched from our living rooms weekly how British nannies would shame the American parents with their savvy discipline techniques. Now as I complete my application to start a daycare in NY State I find out that ‘Time Out’ is prohibited and deemed as a humiliation technique frowned upon by the state.
So that rouses the question, ‘Is your parenting style outdated?‘ It may be time for an upgrade. If you are in your 30s or older you remember spankings, or for some flat out beatings. If your parents were into the free love movement, you may have escaped corporal punishment. Some more conservative types were denied toys, dinner or some other childhood pleasure.
Childhood discipline is a cultural issue when you come right down to it. Coming from an African American background there was no talking, we were spanked and happy to survive. My husband coming from a Japanese background is also no stranger to the rod. We’ve decided as parents not to hit (it’s illegal) but we also recognize that we can’t create an environment where the children are running the show or turn our backs on our roots. I mean, we didn’t grow up to be horrible people. What to do? And where do you find yourself if you are in a bi-cultural marriage where the spankings only happened on one side?
This can be a really difficult issue for some families depending on the severity of the punishment culture. I actually had students (adult ESL teacher) that told me they had their mouths washed out with soap. To me, that is barbaric, but that is the cultural standard that was the norm for those particular students. Who am I to judge?
My question then is how is one supposed to discipline? I am interested in hearing what you do to discipline your children?