Biracial Parenting: “For the Last Time, She’s Mine!”

© WeatherAnchorMama.com

“Is she yours?”

My hubby and I have always planned on having kids.  I knew that starting a family wouldn’t be easy.  I’m not just referring to the financial aspects of raising a child.  I’m talking about how our children would be perceived. There was a good chance that our child would have darker features like me.  There was also a good chance that he or she would have very fair skin and blue eyes like my hubby, who had blond hair growing up.  I also knew there was a good chance that our baby would have a head full of golden locks too.

No matter how light or dark, we would love our baby unconditionally.  But, the one thing I wasn’t ready for was the question, “Is she yours?”  I remember being asked that question before becoming a mom.  I have a niece who is also biracial.  She’s half Puerto Rican and half Jamaican.  She and I were joined at the hip when she was a baby.  People would always compliment how cute she was, and ask if she was mine.  I’d say thanks and answer the question without giving it a second thought.

A few years later my nephew, who is black, arrived.  Like my niece, we were joined at the hip.  Everyone assumed he was mine.  I recall people telling me, “I thought he was yours all this time.”  I didn’t mind.  After all, he was one of the most beautiful babies I had ever seen.  I’m not just saying that because he’s my nephew.

Now that I have a daughter of my own I get asked that question all over again.  “Is she yours?”  I feel like saying, “For the last time, she’s mine!”  But of course, I politely say “yes” instead.  I must admit it can get annoying.  I always knew there would be a chance that I’d look like the nanny and I’ve come to terms with that.  My daughter is beautiful, and I’m so happy that God has blessed me with her.

I’ve come up with some do’s and don’t for when you encounter a biracial child with his or her parent.

© WeatherAnchorMama.com

8 Things to Consider When You Encounter a Biracial Child:

1.  You see a woman with a child, don’t assume she’s the nanny.

2.  I find that when my hubby, Princess, and I are together everyone assumes that we are a family.  If you see a mom or dad with a biracial childdo the same.

3.  Do compliment.  Parents love to be told how gorgeous their child is.  That way if you happen to say, “You have a beautiful daughter” you give that person the opportunity to either say “Thanks” or “No she’s my niece.”  Get my drift.

4.  Don’t give nasty or blank stares.  We hate those.  My hubby actually confronted someone for doing that.  The person became embarrassed.

5.  Do look over with a smile.  It shows kindness.

6.  Don’t use words like mutts or half breeds when describing mixed raced kids.  That’s just plain rude.  We prefer biracial.

7.  Do ask about race.  It’s okay to ask someone about their background, as long as it’s done nicely in the proper setting.  In other words, you don’t want to stop a complete stranger and ask what race the kid is.

8.  Most importantly, do use common sense.

 

Stacy-Ann Gooden can be seen delivering the weather week nights in New York. However, her most important role is being a wife and mom. She writes about balancing career and motherhood in her blog, Weather Anchor Mama.

 

 

 

Comments

  1. says

    Great post! I have a cousin who is biracial, and my aunt would get tired of people thinking she wasn't hers due to her facial features and her light skin tone. My cousin also battled with it because she looks white, and it offended her when people thought she was.

  2. says

    These are such great tips! I think most people don't really think about it because to them it's their first time addressing you this way, but for mixed families…it's a regular. Definitely makes you think about all the misconceptions out there to be approached with these kinds of reactions again and again.

    By the way, you baby girl definitely has her mama's looks. ;)

  3. JenniferBurnhamMorri says

    Love it! I really dislike some of the questions we get asked as a family, Most common "are they adopted" and "who's children are those"

    GREAT TIPS!!

  4. ceourtneyB says

    LOVE IT the 8 things to coscider!! My son who is African AMerican and Caucasian has light skin BLONDE curly hair and BLUE BLUE eyes!! it drives me CRAZY when I can see all the stares when my hubby has him! and all the stares WE get as a family. the look of "oh that can not be his child !"! We have actually had a group of people yell out one time that "THAT BLACK GUY IS KIDNAPPING THAT WHITE BABY!!!""  I was sooooo mad, but I kept my cool and said to them that he was our son!!  if you look at my hubby and my sons faces you can CLEARLY see they are father and son!

  5. MariTereMolinet says

    Love your tips! My daughter is really light skin, blond hair blue eyes and when she was a baby and I was living in France, I got stopped by a security guard and was asked if, of course, I was the nanny! I also had someone refer to another lady and question another lady about my daughter because since the woman was blond, they automatically assumed that she was the mom and not me…Grrr! I hope to adopt a child one day and wonder how that would play out if I adopted someone from a different race.

    • says

       @MariTereMolinet Omg Mari, that is craziness.  I'm so glad that more and more of these stories are being told though.  Hopefully people can learn through them and realize how diverse families really can be!  ♥

  6. AlisonFeliciano says

    Stacy-Ann Gooden!!! I was a huge fan when I lived in NY and I remember  when you started on Good Day New York!! My children are also bi-racial (half Puerto-Rican and Half Trinidadian). Great tips!
    You have a beautiful Princess!!!! 
     
    Big ((((HUGS))))
     
     

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