Interracial Couples, We’re More Alike Than Different

Image: Flickr / Josh Liba

Interracial Couples, We’re More Alike Than Different

Joseph and I are currently in the process of planning a wedding, and the process is fun for the most part. I never thought I would get married, let alone plan a wedding. I’m enjoying all of the girly attributes to the planning, and I really enjoy meeting the prospective photographers, florists, musicians, etc. I’m a very social person, and anytime I get to socialize about me, that makes the conversation more interesting (Sorry, I’m ego tripping right now).

When getting on the subject of Joseph and me, the conversation normally starts with the question, “I just have to ask. So how did the two of you meet?” We verbalize about my history of blogging, Joseph being a reader, we later connected, etc., etc. It’s really a long story so I will save you the boredom, but by the time we’re done telling the story, the usual response is, “Wow!  That’s interesting, and now here you are planning a wedding.  Amazing!”

I don’t know how “amazing” the story is, but I can’t help but to wonder if the amazement is coming from the way we met or the fact that you have this type of interracial dynamic about to venture into marital bliss. Let’s keep it real; there aren’t many Black woman/White male relationships in our current society. Yes, the percentage is increasing, but it’s also increasing at the rate of molasses falling down a wall. It’s just not that common.

And why isn’t it common?

Is it due to the lack of interaction between Black women and White men? Is it due to the stereotypes that hinder such interactions from manifesting? Or is it because many Black women and White men just aren’t interested in each other? Who knows? It could be all of those reasons plus more. Whatever the reasons are, none of those applied to us.

Related: Dating Outside Your Race

When we connected, we did just that…connect. Sure, there are differences between us. He is tall; I’m short. He loves math and numbers; anything past basic calculus will wreck my brain. He enjoys watching shows about how to make money; I enjoy watching shows on how to spend money (a habit I’m trying to break). He enjoys listening to old school rap music; I enjoy listening to great jazz musicians. He is northerner, hailing from Michigan; I’m a southerner, hailing from Georgia. The biggest and most obvious difference is our race and cultural difference; for, he is a first generation Italian-American, and I’m African-American (many generations).

Yet, through all of these differences, we see the things have in common, and being involved in an interracial relationship, you have to rely on those or else it will make it hard to sustain your relationship. For instance, we both enjoy traveling, playing golf, being knowledgeable in worldly events, watching football, hiking, cooking, being connoisseur of fine wines, relying on a spiritual foundation, being family oriented, and many more. On the other hand, having those differences can aid in enhancing your life. I’ve always prided myself on being cultured, and I would like to continue doing so for the duration of my life. I find it a beautiful attribute to be able to spend my life with someone who could make sure that goal is attainable.

In the end, the biggest thing we rely on is being human. We both feel, we both love, and we both express in ways that the human species does. That’s what matters the most to us.



  1. says

    That's so cool that you met you hubby-to-be in the blogosphere! Many people assume that interracial couples don't have much in common. That is so not true. Like you and your fiance, my hubby and I have a lot in common. Congrats on the upcoming wedding.

  2. John says

    That is a great story, and it IS amazing! I love hearing stories of how people meet and fall in love, especially when those stories are similar to my own! I met a beautiful young lady in college who was of another race and we finally got married recently after only two years of dating. I am also a first generation Italian American and my wife is Guinean born. I feel like we share so many similar beliefs, values, ethical convictions, and so much love for one another. In the beginning of our relationship it was very noticeable that people would be surprised or even stare at us in public, but anymore I think we just don't notice it or care to notice it. To be honest, I think a lot of the surprise really does come from the fact that interracial marriage is not an incredibly common thing, and when other people think about it, they always have that subconscious thought of their grandmother saying, " you need to marry a nice 'insert nationality here' woman who will cook for you!" floating around in there head. I think when they see an interracial couple, it just opens their minds and makes them think, "oh, so I could have been looking for a wife who didn't have to have the same nationality and race as my own!". Maybe that is where all the surprise comes from. Its an out of the ordinary thing for some people who maybe do not live in big cities and see it all the time.

    None the less, congratulations, and I wish you all the success in your relationship!! :)