LISTEN: Interview with Author of “In Search of My Father” Shadé Ashani {Podcast}

sexual assault personal growth fatherlessness relationships

Interview with Author Shadé Ashani {Recap}

On Wednesday night, Amanda (@MarocMama) and I had the pleasure of interviewing an up and coming author, Shadé Ashani.  In the interview, she spoke frankly about her struggle to overcome the challenges that she faced after her father left her family.  After starting college, she began noticing that many of the young women she knew were also having challenges in their personal relationships and all shared a common link…they grew up detached from their fathers.

Her curiosity about this topic spurred her to start writing the book “In Search of My Father” when she was 21.  It took her five years to bring it to publishing.  In our interview with her, she also discussion the publishing process and her desire to tell her story in order to help others recognize the influence that fatherlessness may have in their own lives.

Shadé also shared with us her fears about making public her relationships and an incident of sexual assault that changed her life.  Upon completing the book, she faced challenges with her some family members who weren’t comfortable with what she had shared and she even faced a potential lawsuit from her father’s family.

Shadé told us about growing up in the predominantly white Santa Clarita, California suburbs, being biracial in a time and place where she felt isolated and wasn’t aware that there were families like hers.  Her mother is Polish and her father is Nigerian.

Shadé went through over 100 rejections before finally getting her book published, but she didn’t give up and finally found a home with a small publisher based in New Orleans, Your Time Publishing, LLC.  We want to congratulate publishers like Your Time Publishing for their commitment to making public the stories that many mainstream publishers may not promote.  We’re looking forward to Shadé’s book and books from related authors.


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In Search of My Father is available now in paperback & Kindle Edition:

This is my story… As I remember it. My reality, my distorted perspective through the lens of trauma. My sparkling joys and darkest, most painful miseries. My strife. My secrets and fall from grace into a rape treatment facility and the unbelievably difficult climb through depression back to self-love and faith. My father used to say that there simply isn’t enough time in life to make all the mistakes in the world ourselves; we must learn from each other if we wish to advance as a human race. In response, I offer, In Search of My Father, hoping that fathers might begin to know how vital their presence is in their children’s lives. If others are inspired to create healthy parent-child relationships or accept their fathers even sooner than I did, then every word was worth writing. This is my story, my own self-help book. But above all else, this is the truth of a broken little girl who grew into a compassionate young woman, one who spent far too much time in search of her father.

Shade Ashani In Search of My Father book about fatherlessnessAbout Shadé Ashani
Shadé (pronounced Shah-dee) is a Columbia University graduate who is currently pursuing a Master’s in Public Health at Tulane University in the city of New Orleans. She has worked extensively in the field of HIV/AIDS prevention, is a Goodwill Ambassador to the Gambia and founder of the non-profit organization, Kids International. She is the proud sister to four siblings. In Search of My Father is her auto-biography and first published work.


  1. says

    It's great to see a book published with a biracial main character and good to know she persevered after so many rejections. Gives me hope as I know sometimes publishers shy away from books that mention multiculturalism (even though they say they're open to it, when it comes down to the bottom line, it's all about making money and many assume books with diverse characters may not sell a lot).

    • says

      Definitely. It's interesting that so many publishers say that they're looking for "multicultural" writers, but in reality, it seems that they're only picked up as a sometimes novelty.

      I think it's great that she kept going and finally found a publishing company that appreciated her voice. Very inspiring!

      Thanks so much for stopping by to comment and for checking out the interview Maria. I'm so looking forward to reading this book and recommending it to others. :)

  2. Kesha fisher says

    I missed the interview and was planning to return to check it out. So glad I did. It is nice to know that there are others out there like me and my children.
    Excited to read Shade's book.
    Kesha Fisher