Interracial Dating Confession: “I worried what my friends would say”

Interracial Dating Confession: “I worried what my friends would say”

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I’ve written this post and rewritten it and started it over at least three times now, until finally I resolved to just write it! And I realized that trying to capture the experience of being in an interracial marriage and part of a multiracial family is too complicated and personal to do justice to in a single post. I will have to do it in bits and pieces, so that maybe eventually it all fits together like a puzzle and I can step back and say, Yes, that is the picture, more or less.

I’d like to say that race doesn’t figure into my thoughts or perceptions. I’m married to a black man and my sons are biracial. So it seems like I should be color-blind myself, thinking of race only when the outside world brings it up or when considering how to raise my children to be proud and at-ease with their racial identities. It seems like I should hold no stereotypes of my own about race, no doubts or insecurities. That would be wonderful. But it’s not the truth.

The truth is this.

The truth is that I thought about race before I decided to date my husband and race made me hesitate. I didn’t worry how my family would feel, but I worried what my friends would say. I went to college in the south and I knew, without a doubt, that some of my friends weren’t down with interracial dating. I was scared that someone would react negatively and I would be disappointed and hurt by that. I didn’t want to be disappointed and hurt by my friends.

Fortunately, my husband’s charms are irresistible and I ultimately decided that, friends be damned, this was the guy for me. And, fortunately, I had underestimated my friends, none of whom batted an eye when they found out Hubby was black. (At least, if they did, they hid it very well.) […]

Read the rest of Ellie’s confession on